sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
