What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
