Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i dont even know how to be here
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
