you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
