We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
