Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
