Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
