there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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