she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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