I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
