there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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