So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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