STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What a dumb baby whore.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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