guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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