May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
40s are totally the cure
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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