Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
