Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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