Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
