i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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