i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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