after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
