Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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