Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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