Jerry, you need to find god
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
