There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
