My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize