My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
