i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You don't make any sense
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