I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
