yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
