i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
