the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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