So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
