Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We need to rekindle our bromance
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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