I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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