Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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