Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
