Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
