on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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