Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
