I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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