maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
