Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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