The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
