Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
nutella sex= disaster
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
