This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
