My cat gives me a boner
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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