Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I need water and some morals
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
