I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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