turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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