well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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