Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
