i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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