my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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