ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you would pick up someone in the library
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
