Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
