take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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