Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
