I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
