it wasn't lemon gatorade
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
