So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
